Look at me, See me
by ShadowMellow
Summary: "So, Damian, what did you want to ask me?" I shook my head, trying to keep my face blank. "It's not important." I squeezed the piece of paper in my hands. Not anymore at least. AU Sparrow!Damian
1. Look at me, See me

Alright, another Batman fic! Sorry about not updating _Another Story _but if you read my profile update, you know why. The chapter is still being beta-read, so please be patient! I hope you enjoy this angsty dumb of mine!

Disclaimer: I don't own Batman or any of the characters!

**Edit: Alright, just to make it clear. This was inteded to be a One-shot for now. Someday, I might continue this or I will write on it when I'm depressed again or something. I'm glad that you like it, but don't eypect any new chapters in the near futur. I will keep it on on-going though, just in case.**

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"Master Damian." I opened my eyes before blinking a few times. The curtains had yet to be pulled apart, but the dim light from the door was enough to make me squint. I rolled over to my side to take a look at the old butler that stood in the door way. "It is time for school. Breakfast is served downstairs." I couldn't suppress the little smile on my face.

"Thanks, Alfred. I will be there in a minute." The man nodded and closed the door again. It was tempting to just fall asleep again and skip the first few lessons, but I had to get up anyway, so why bother. I took a quick shower and put on my usual school clothes- a black sweat shirt and a pair of jeans. I'm glad I was able to convince Father to let me visit an ordinary school. Wearing a uniform with tie everyday was horrible. I took a quick look into the mirror and frown at what I see. Since I refused to use any hair products except shampoo, my unruly hair was falling into my eyes at the front and sticking out in odd angles in the back. I tried my best to tame it over the years, but they just jump back to their former form. With a sigh, I left my room and walked down the stairs. When I arrived in the dinning room, I observed my family sitting around the table for a few moments. What surprised me the most when I first got back to the manor a few months ago was the fact that Jason had returned. No one ever really told me the whole story but it seems like he finally wanted to make things right with Father. Beside him was Drake, or maybe I should call him Tim now. He still looked as scrawny as back when I left but he grew a little taller since then. I wonder if the Robin costume was even fitting him right now. On the head was Father, also known as the current Batman and Bruce Wayne. I gulped a little as I watched him eat his scrambled egg. I quickly turned my eyes away from him and looked at my oldest sibling, Dick Grayson. Since Blüdhaven has been destroyed, he went to New York and started over as Nightwing again. I am surprised he even bothered to come back. Before I could fully step into the room, my ex-partner turned to me and gave me a bright smile.

"Hey there, Sleepy-head! I thought I had to go up and throw your sheets off!" I glared at him before walking over and sitting down at his side.

"You wouldn't, because you know that I would break all your fingers before you reach out to them." I just got a laugh and a ruffle of my already messy hair. I scanned the table again and noted that Father didn't even look up from his paper when I arrived. I did my best to hide my disappointment and just ate my breakfast. After I was done, Dick was smiling at me again.

"So, you want me to drive you to school? I'm free right now." I shook my head and grabbed my bag I had put at the side of my chair.

"Nah, I will take the bus. It's not far from here, anyway." I took one last look at my family before I ran for the bus stop down the street.

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"Damian! Morning!" I turned my head around to barely catch a flash of red before I was pulled into a death-grip hug. I knew by now that resistance was useless, so I just patted Colin on his mop of hair. It was hard considering he had grown taller than me.

"Morning, Colin," I said, trying my best to keep my emotions from my voice. He would never let me hear the end of it if he knew I liked him hugging me. After he realized that the other students were staring at us, he let me go and we started to walk into the High School building.

"So, you asked your dad yet?" Five minutes into school and I already had to talk about the think that I dreaded the most.

"No, I haven't. And I don't plan to." He gave me a shocked look.

"But it's your first big concert! You have to ask him if he can come!" I sighed at his comment but resisted the snarky response that was sitting on the tip of my tongue. Years of training with demons had taught me how to shut my mouth when it was appropriate.

"It's not that I don't want him to come, I just doubt he will be able to. This morning was the first time I saw him for weeks. He's always off having meetings and when he's home, he rarely talks to me." We reached out lockers and I pulled my books out of mine. "I doubt he likes to listen me play Piano anyway." I shrunk back a little when my locker was snapped closed and I just had enough time to pull my hand away in time.

"Don't be like that, D! You're his son! I bet he would be glad to hear you play!"

"Colin..."

"The concert is on Thursday. You still have enough time to ask him. And you will, today. If you haven't when we are on patrol tonight, I will and I promise you that he will be delighted to come." He looked at his run-down wristwatch and grabbed his own books. "Well, we'll better head to out classrooms now. You need to get to your Junior friends, right?" I snorted at him.

"Shut up, Wilkes."

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As it turned out, Father was still there when I got home. He comfortably sat in his chair in front of the TV and ate a tuna sandwich. I walked up to him as I took off my black jacket.

"Don't you have work today?" He turned to look at me but his eyes quickly moved back to the screen.

"I got a few days off."

"For how long?"

"Until Friday. Why do you ask?" Now was my chance. I fiddled a little with the concert card that Colin had given to me since I had thrown away the last one. I just had to get the courage to ask him. I never really asked him to go to anything concerning my passion for music before so I was very nervous. I took a deep breath and pulled it out of my pocket.

"Well, I wanted to ask you if-"

"Dad!" I should have known that something like that was bound to happen. Tim ran down the stairs and rushed to our father, his face stricken with panic. "Dad, I've got a Quiz tournament this Thursday and it's against the best collage in the country! Could you come so I know that I don't need to panic?" Father gave him a smile – the smile he never directed at me - and ruffled my brother's hair.

"I think it's a little too late for that, but sure, I will come. Maybe the others will watch, too, so you feel better." When my brother gave him a shaky nod, he turned back to me, smile wiped away from his face. I hid the ticket behind my back. "So, Damian, what did you want to ask me?" I shook my head, trying to keep my face blank.

"It's not important." I squeezed the piece of paper in my hands. Not anymore at least.

"Oh. Do you want to come to Tim's tournament then?"

"No, I'm busy that day."

But you wouldn't know how important this was to me.

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Later that night, we were patrolling, all five of us. Well, six, if you counted Colin, but he was on the other side of the city. I knew he would probably come up to us to ask about the concert, so I just had to catch him before that so he won't blurt it out. Considering his low speed, it wouldn't be too hard. But at this moment, I just enjoyed the feeling of jumping from roof to roof and the wind blowing through my hair. My silver cape was flying behind me and the elastic tights stretched with my every move. I was paired up with Robin, or Tim, this time around. It must have been a sight to see: A grown man in a tight red-black suit and a short teenager in silver tights and a black vest. Although most people thought we were alike, Sparrow and Robin are not usually seen together, so it must be quite surprising to see us.

"Is something up?" I snapped my head to my brother in surprise. I had expected that someone would notice but I hadn't thought that it would be Tim, out of all people. Despite what was going on in my head, I just shrugged and jumped to next roof, him dangling with with grappling hook behind me.

"Not really." I could almost here him shaking his head.

"Look, Dam-"

"No real names on duty."

"Alright, _Sparrow._ Your problems won't just magically disappear because you don't talk about them. Alright, they won't disappear because you talk to me about it, but it could help. I could help." I didn't really know how to respond to that but luckily, I didn't have to. I felt a little pull in the back of my skull and stopped in my tracks. I activated my optic lenses in my mask and strained my ears to hear what was going on. When I heard a scream and gunshots, I knew where to go. I pointed at the direction with my gloved finger.

"A riot downtown. Judging from the location and the gunshots, I guess a bank is robbed right now." I heard a whistle behind me and turned to look at the older.

"Have I told you that your superpowers come pretty handy yet?"

"Limited magical abilities. And you could say it more often." I gave him a small smile and took off to the incident. It was considerably a small feat if you compare it to the rest of Gotham's crimes but it would have been a big deal in any other city. No time to think about that. Time to get to work. I wrapped my arm around Tim's waist and leaped off the room. I heard a shout of protest coming from him but I paid no mind to it. I gracefully landed on my feet and let go of him. He almost fell over if I hadn't stabilized. Now that I thought about it, it was also the first time I had ever pulled a stunt like that with him around. I will keep in mind to tell him next time before I do something like that again. I turned back to the thugs when he had gained balance again and took out my stick I always kept inside my cape. Better get started now. I ran up to them and hit one of them into his gut, making him fall to the floor. Tim had recovered pretty good since he was already taking out the others. I had taken out five other guys when I caught motion from the corner of my eye.

"Robin, watch out!" I threw a few of my shurikens in front of the man. They exploded on impact and threw him back against the wall before he fell limply onto the floor. I tightened my grip around my stick and slashed across three of the men like I would have with a sword. After a few more kicks, all of them were down. I looked around again to make sure none of the citizens was injured before nodding at my partner. We soon heard sirens coming our way and left, leaving the rest up to the police. Nothing else really happened that night in the city, so Father called us back to the cave. He and the others were watching the news when we arrived. He spotted us in the entrance and walked over to us.

"I heard what you did today, good job." He put a hand on Tim's shoulder. I wasn't sure who he meant with 'you' but considering he wasn't even looking at me, it was obvious that he did not mean both of us.

"It wasn't much, dad. Just a bank robbing." Why?

"But it was a very big group of burglars. You did a great job on catching them." Why won't you talk to me like that?

"Well done." Why won't you see who I am?

"I think this calls for-"

"Just what is your problem?" I shouted at them from the top my lungs. I couldn't take it anymore! I didn't care about their shocked faces or the way they were all staring at me. It was just too much. "i was there, too! Why do you only talk to Tim?" Father was the first to recover.

"If this is about me making you quit and taking him again, you are old enough to see that this jealousy is childish, Damian." I glared at him even harder and threw my arms into the air.

"That's not it!" Why can't you understand? What am I thinking, you won't if I don't tell you in the face. I tried my best to calm down and looked him straight into the eyes. "You just don't get it, do you? Do you know how it is to get back, to want to spend time with your family and they are not home? And every time I have some sort of event, I don't even bother to ask if you can come, because I know it's better knowing it from the very beginning is better than getting my hopes up and then get crushed when you're not there. But every time the others -Dick, Jason, Cassandra, Stephanie but especially Tim- have something, you always go. What's wrong with me that you won't pay me any attention? Am I so much of a mistake in your eyes that you won't even acknowledge my existence? This is not about becoming Batman or you replacing me as Robin, I gave up on those dreams a long time ago. I don't want you to go around and say how proud you are of me with a big smile on your face. The only thing I wanted all those years..." I looked at the floor and let out a frustrated sigh before looking back up into Father's - no, he was not my father anymore - Bruce's eyes. "The only thing I wanted all those years was you to look at me and actually **see **me. Past the brat that had been trained by the league of assassins, past the kid that is the result of rape and past the little demon that can blow your head up if he wanted to. To see who I really am. I'm not the little kid I had been four years ago, I changed and I hoped that you would too. Looks like I got my hopes up for nothing again, huh?" I stomped away and got onto my bicycle. As I drove away, an uncomfortable silence settled in the Batcave. I didn't care if he felt guilty now. I was glad I finally said it. I don't need him. I had been able to live without him for most of my life. I could again.

The only thing I might be regretting is leaving my siblings behind, but I would think about that later.

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Here it is! If anyone of you reads my profile at all, then you know that it's the full version of the Batman snippet I did a while ago. I've been playing with this for a few weeks, or months, now, so I hope you enjoyed it!

Please Review!

Your Shadow!


	2. To See it Through

ALRIGHT, I CONFESS! I ACTUALLY MADE A SECOND CHAPTER!

Alright, this is not exactly as I wanted it to be. I wanted to make a real second chapter, as in, expanding the story line and all that jazz. But then a reviewer said: Why not make one in the perspective of Bruce? And I was like: Why not? And then this happened. I warn you, I was never really good at parallel stories (I suck at it in both German and English. ESPECIALLY GERMAN) so I hope it didn't come out too crappy. I hope I didn't make any of the characters out of character either. I have a hard time writing adults.

**Edit 9/2012: Alright, so everybody knows: There won't be another chapter for this story! I kind of fell out of the Batman fandom (not completely, mind you) and fanfiction writing in general I suppose. I know many of you were looking forward for more but I'm sorry, I won't come back to this in the near future. Since I intended this to be a one-shot anyway, it shouldn't change much. Maybe I will come back once I'm into comics again but for now, no.**

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I was honestly surprised when Damian returned.

The way he had spoken when he left, the hurt that could clearly be seen in his eyes and his happiness when those people from the Union Of Demons took him away made me think that he would never want to return to Gotham. To me. But there he was standing, in his obviously customized and new uniform with a smile on his face that I have never seen before. The oddest thing was that his attitude had completely changed. He was smiling, making jokes and hung out with his friends like any other kid his age and he was not as aggressive as before. He still tended to rush into a fight, but not as often anymore. Even if just slightly, his steps were more calculated and he knew how to use that genius brain he had now. To tell the truth, I was pleasantly surprised how he handled his brothers now. I briefly looked up from my paper as I saw Alfred come down the stairs.

"Alfred, what is taking him so long?" The elderly man slightly turned his head and continued his path to the kitchen.

"He had a rough night yesterday, Master Bruce. He needs to recover his spent energy." A few minutes later, he was setting up Damian's food, scrambled eggs, toast and fruits. The boy had never been keen to sweets like pancakes and the likes, so it was not surprising. Soon, the short teen was walking down into the room, himself. I was watching him from the corner of my eyes without him noticing. As he started his usual bickering with Dick, I noticed that the was wearing that old, black sweatshirt again and that his hair was as messy as ever. I sighed inwardly. I tried my best to convince him to use hair products and to go to Gotham Academy, but he refused so he could be with Colin. While I find it endearing that he wants to be with his friend, it is simply depressing to see him let his good looks go to waste because he was rebelling against me. I felt looks at me and briefly looks up again to see Damian sullenly eat his food. When he was done, Dick offered to drive him to school which he refused in favor of taking the bus. Once he was gone, we, too, raised from our seats and went our ways. I sat down in my study and grabbed a few papers. My thoughts drifted back to Damian.

He thought I didn't know, but I realized why he lets his hair grow into his eyes and why he let his bones be as injured as they are. He was trying his best to not grow up like me. He knew that with his genes, he will sooner or later look like me, so he does everything he can to hinder the process. While my hair was chopped short and full of grease, his were long in the front and shorter in the back, growing wildly and without restrain. While I was tall with a broad chest, he was rather short for his age and had a rather small frame. The boy may say that it is due to his training and that he needs to be mobile enough to catch the rebelling demons he was hunting, but he knew it was so he could be his own person and detach himself from his origins and the reason he was born to begin with. I wasn't sure if he still had contact with Talia now, but I certainly hoped they were able to amend their relationship. I quickly shook my head. Now was no time to think about stuff like that. Grabbing my stuff, I walked down to the garage. There were a few things to orginize.

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"I would like to take a few days off." Lucius looked up from the things he was working on and looked at me in surprise. Then his face morphed into a smirk.

"My, Mr. Wayne, I never thought I would ever hear you speak those words someday." He twisted his chair to type something into his computer. "I can arrange that, sir. I just need the time frame."

"Today to Friday would be nice," I answered. I noticed that Damian was starting to get nervous whenever I was in the same room as him. There was something he wanted to ask me, he was just not confident enough to do it. If I were home for a longer period, maybe it would ease the tension and I could finally start having a real relationship with him. Lucius nodded.

"You have no meetings planned for today, sir, so I think it will work out." He turned back to me and smirked again. "So, sir, what's the matter? Why do you want some time off all of a sudden? Is it because of your... nightly business?" I tried my best not to roll my eyes.

"Just because I don't want to come into the office doesn't mean that something's up, Lucius. I just want to spend some time with the family." The black man looked surprised for a moment before smiling at me.

"Yes, if I recall correctly, it is the first time in a while that all your sons are back, isn't it? Do you have anything in mind for them?" When I didn't answer, he leaned back and sighed. "It's your youngest, isn't it? Damian, if I recall correctly?" When I just looked at him in confusion, he let out a small chuckle. "I have met hi once or twice while you were away. He's a remarkable businessman, by the way." He pulled out a small photograph out of his drawer. It was a picture of Damian in a suit, standing in front of a conference in Wayne Enterprise. Considering the leaves that could be seen at the side, the picture was taken in secret. I was not sure I wanted to know why they would take a picture of a ten-year-old. "He was so passionate, thoughtful about his deals. He was just as serious as you but there was a spark of childishness in his decisions that made him popular with everybody, although he may not have noticed." He put it back from where he got it and smiled at me again. "I just hope you have a nice time with him. He seemed rather lonely when I last saw him." I nodded and walked out of the room. I certainly hoped so, too."

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When I got back, I quickly changed back into my casual clothes and grabbed one of the prepared tuna-sandwiches. It wasn't long until I heard the door open and close while soft footsteps could be heard through the halls. They were light and calculated, so it could only have been Damian. I tired my best to swallow my nervousness. I always had problems handling the boy. He was so much different from the others. Yes, he and Jason had many things in common, but, if only for a brief time, Jason had known how it was to have a parent that loved him. Plus, I only lived with him for about a year before the boy had run off. Those were not really the best circumstances to build up a proper relationship. I heard him walk up to me and rustling of clothes.

"Don't you have work today?" I looked away from the screen for a moment, noted the small flicker of hope in his eyes and then turned away. It was hard to look at the child when he was like that.

"I got a few days off," I answered, trying to keep my voice neutral. I knew how anxious I made the boy, no need to let him know how nervous I felt.

"For how long?" So I was right when I guessed it was because I thought I was busy.

"Until Friday. Why do you ask?" I moved my eyes back to my son. He was fiddling with something in his pocket until he finally decided to take it out.

"Well, I wanted to ask you if-"

"Dad!" I turned my had just in time to see Tim run up to us, sweating bullets. "Dad, I've got a Quiz tournament this Thursday and it's against the best college in the country! Could you come so I know that I don't need to panic?" I sighed and then smiled at him. Although he was a genius, and he was because he got into college without graduating from High School, there were still some insecurities that we haven't been able to remove. I smiled some more before ruffling his hair.

"I think it's a little too late for that, but sure, I will come. Maybe the others will watch, too, so you feel better." It was not exactly going as I planned, but it was just as good. Tim needed us there and I would be able to spend some time with Damian. I looked back at my younger son and frowned when the joy he had previously felt was wiped from his face. "So, Damian, what did you want to ask me?" He shook his head. I had to admit, his poker face was good, but not good enough for me. Years of interrogating schooled me to look at the small things, like how the corner of his mouth twitched and his grip on whatever he hid behind back tightened.

"It's not important." He stuffed that something back into his pocket and walked off to his room. In that moment, I knew I had made the wrong decision.

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Not only had Damian's personality change, his fighting style did, too. He was now used to fight in a team and had less trouble with obeying orders. It also came with big surprise to find out that he had a partner. He never really told us the details, but it was the former Inertia, now calling himself Mercury. Considering I know he died in the last Crisis, no one in the family pried since revival was always a complicated thing to explain. He was always a little down whenever "Thad" wouldn't be able to come for patrol in Gotham because he had to stay in Manchester with Bart, but he was never really angry about it. Today was another of those nights. Another surprise was that Colin didn't come to the cave, which happened very often lately. I had to remember to ask Dick about it later. We split up into pairs tonight, Sparrow with Robin, Red Robin with Batgirl and Nightwing and Batman. Everything was going smoothly until those fateful words were spoken.

"Batman, we need to talk." I hoped to avoid the topic, at least when we are on duty. I looked over my shoulder to Dick, who had his arms crossed over his blue symbol on his chest.

"Not now, Nightwing. We still have stuff to do."

"Oh, come on! Today's a quiet night and you know it! Don't change the topic!" I sighed and we moved to a deserted street at the harbor. When h was sure no one was listening, his eyes hardened under his mask. "Alright, what's going on?"

"What do you mean?" His glare grew even darker.

"You know exactly what I mean! I mean Damian!" I frowned at him.

"No real-"

"Oh, fuck it, Bruce! You know just as good as I do that nobody's listening!" I had to give him this victory. "So, what's up with you and Damian? It looked like it was alright for a while but then he got even more depressed than usual! Was rejecting him not bad enough for him?" Then I fully glared at him.

"You think I didn't notice? I try my best to fix that! And you know just as good as I do that him and me working together would have never worked out. Plus, it was not only me that didn't want to work with him." I knew it was a low blow, but I didn't care at the moment. All I could see was that Dick was trying to give me all the fault when he was just as much to blame that Damian left in the first place. He had felt like he didn't belong, like he had no reason to stay with us. It wasn't only me who had made him think that. The young man in front of me sighed and looked at the floor.

"Look, I know it was wrong to just send him away, but he's back now and we all need to make him feel like a part of the family. I know you're trying, but as it is, he won't get it. You need to be a little more... direct about it." My eyes narrowed.

"And how am I supposed to do that?" He tilted his head to the side.

"Well, when we were working together, he liked to be praised. Maybe you should try that?" I shook my head and used my grappling hook, a small smile grazing my lips.

"Who would have thought that I needed parental advices from my son?"

"Who would have thought that the oldest of them had to practically raise two of his younger?" Dick returned and we continued our patrol. A few hours, we decided to call it a night and returned to the cave. Alfred was waiting for us, watching the news that showed Sparrow and Robin stopping a bank robbery. It wasn't long after until Damian and Tim returned. I immediately walked up to them and lay my hand on the older's shoulder. Might as well try out Dick's advice.

"I heard what you did today, good job." Tim must have decided to speak for the both of them since he answered.

"It wasn't much, dad. Just a bank robbing," he said, trying to be modest but the pride was evident in his voice. I shook my head.

"But it was a very big group of burglars. You did a great job on catching them. Well done." I smiled again. "I think this calls for-"

"Just what is your problem?!" The volume of Damian's voice startled me, but I kept my face blank as his was slowly turned red from anger. "I was there, too! Why do you only talk to Tim?!" My eyes widened. Why would he think that I only talked to Tim? I sighed. Maybe his jealousy for his brother had not completely faded, after all.

"If this is about me making you quit and taking him as Robin again, you are old enough to see that this behavior is childish, Damian." That only seemed to make him angrier.

"That's not it!" This time, I really was confused. If that was not the problem, then what was? He looked at the floor and then straight into my eyes. The fury I saw was something that I had never seen directed at me from the boy before. "You just don't get it, do you? Do you know how it is to get back, to want to spend time with your family and they are not home? And every time I have some sort of event, I don't even bother to ask if you can come, because I know it's better knowing it from the very beginning is better than getting my hopes up and then get crushed when you're not there. But every time the others -Dick, Jason, Cassandra, Stephanie but especially Tim- have something, you always go. What's wrong with me that you won't pay me any attention?" That's not true, I always kept an eye on you. At first, it was only suspicion, but now it was because I love as much as my other children. "Am I so much of a mistake in your eyes that you won't even acknowledge my existence?" You are no mistake, you grew up strong and if others didn't see that, they had to be blind. "This is not about becoming Batman or you replacing me as Robin, I gave up on those dreams a long time ago. I don't want you to go around and say how proud you are of me with a big smile on your face. The only thing I wanted all those years..." He looked at the floor again and then back into my eyes. There were so many emotions there: anger, hurt, disgust but most of all, despair. "The only thing I wanted all those years was you to look at me and actually **see **me. Past the brat that had been trained by the league of assassins, past the kid that is the result of rape and past the little demon that can blow your head up if he wanted to. To see who I really am. I'm not the little kid I had been four years ago, I changed and I hoped that you would too. Looks like I got my hopes up for nothing again, huh?" I was too stunned by the words to say anything when he walked away, jumped onto his bike and drove away. There were so many things I should have said before he left. Instead, I just stood there. The others looked uncomfortable and when I finally recovered, I moved to the phone.

"What are you doing?" Jason asked.

"Calling Colin and Thaddeus. He only has so many friends and I at least want to know he's alright when he's not here."

-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-

Alright, this is it. As I said before, I hope not too crappy. By the way, Thad is from the Flash and Impulse comics and Bart Allen's clone. I just put him in here, because, well, I decided to make him part of my Universe, so why not introduce him here?

Anyway, I apologize for typos. It's 1 am here and that's way past my bed time. Good night.

Shadow.


End file.
